Teaching is Hard Work!

So I have began to hate special days at school I almost hate having them....Sitting at my desk today making out the calender for Nov. I shuttered a little when I wrote in the Thanksgiving Party. I can imagine them asking "Ms. Ashawee what are you Thankful for" my answer would be the three days off I am about to have!
Today was crazy, I have one kid who just goes crazy some days and then the rest of the kids go crazy with her.
SO tired of all this not this is not what i am suppose to do for the rest of my life!

how did it come to this...

So I don't know why but I find myself always trying to find the next boy to be totally crazy about, when I know that I just need a break from all that craziness...and in that I end up thinking about doing something that would hurt someone else or make me really unhappy. I find myself currently in love with the attention someone gave me. Not that I care at all about that person. Yes I know I sound like a horrible person. But I like the attention for a few days then it was weird...it got on my nerves. Like chill dude I'm not that cool. but its like i don't know where I am going anymore and i am just turning in circles...every week is the same and i am dying here. I need to get out of this house out of this area of the state....maybe even out of the south for awhile!